- The Inner Sanctum
- Posts
- Unmasking what we hide in midlife
Unmasking what we hide in midlife
“When Longing to Be Seen Becomes a Doorway to Freedom”
Darcy Neumann
September 16, 2025
There’s a quiet longing many of us carry, though few ever admit it out loud:
The longing to be seen. Truly seen.
I carried that ache for years — hidden under achievement, busyness, and “I’m fine.” On the outside, everything looked together. On the inside, I was still chasing proof that I was enough.
Even when I told myself I didn’t need validation, I could feel it in my body — the tension, the forcing, the way I’d overdo or overgive in hopes someone would notice. That was lack and unworthiness running the show, even if I didn’t want to call it that.
The truth? You can’t think your way out of this. You can read the books, repeat the affirmations, try to control your image… but your energy always tells the deeper story.
When I was pregnant with my son, a friend - well, sort-of friend, maybe acquaintance fits better - said to me “wait until you have that baby you won’t be as organized and have you won’t have everything under control”. I remember thinking to myself “where did she get that idea everything in my life was under control”. After having my son I could feel what she was saying. But, it wasn’t until I turned 50ish that I realized I was wearing a beautiful mask. I chuckle at myself now, and I am pretty sure I am not alone….
We all long to be seen, to belong — it’s part of being human. But when that longing is fueled by unworthiness, by a lack of trust, or by the fear of being left behind… it becomes something else. It becomes a mask, a chase, a reaching that never truly fills us.
And when you finally allow yourself to drop the mask, the liberation is breathtaking.
Reflections for you
Where in your life are you waiting for others to notice, approve, or validate you?
What would shift if you stopped waiting to be seen and chose to see yourself fully?
“When Pretending No Longer Works”
I created The Wild Ember Gathering for women exactly in this moment of life — when pretending doesn’t work anymore, when we’re ready to explore the unspoken, and when the desire to live unmasked becomes too strong to ignore.
This isn’t a retreat where you come to “fix yourself.”
It’s a sacred, intimate space to honor who you already are — and to remember that your value has never diminished with age.
Because the biggest YES you can give yourself is the one that says:
I am done hiding.
 Are you ready now? The Wild Ember… Within A circle of women, a day of presence, a space where your essence can finally breathe. The Wild Ember Gathering invites you to shed the layers that dim your light, feel yourself deeply, and remember who you are beneath it all: radiant, powerful, and alive. |  Get to know me better and me YOU… ✨ You’re Invited: A Taste of The Wild Ember Gathering ✨ Ladies, I’m hosting an intimate pre-retreat gathering right here in my Life in the Middle Facebook group. This is your chance to step into a sacred space, connect with women who feel the same whisper of “there’s more waiting for me,” and experience a glimpse of the energy, reflection, and presence we’ll cultivate at The Wild Ember Gathering. Thursday, September 15th @ 11:30am note: this is a private group, so please complete the invitation process early |
She Who Unbecomes Podcast
I’m in the midst of a 30-day podcast journey, and every day I’m sharing raw, honest insights, personal stories, and reflections from my own midlife path — the fire, the longing, and the freedom that comes when we say yes to ourselves.
You can listen to each episode [She Who Unbecomes Podcast] and walk alongside me for exploration.
Your presence, your listening, your sharing — it all matters. It helps me continue creating these sacred spaces for women who are ready to show up fully, and it reminds us all that none of us are alone on this journey.
My Personal Note…
The intention of this newsletter is simple: to share my passion, my point of view, and the work I’m called to do. My work is not about “fixing” women — it’s about seeing them deeply, fiercely, and without apology. It’s about creating sacred, exquisite spaces where you can finally see yourself as you truly are. I’m most interested in hearing from you — in discovering what lights you up, what brings your soul alive — and in co-creating experiences that reflect that energy.
And finally, in a world that feels heavy, fearful, and uncertain right now, I believe that when women step fully into themselves, with clarity, courage, and embodiment, we become a force that shifts everything around us.
May you answer the call within, Darcy